The Big 4 OHHHHH!!!

This may come as a shock to my agent and the many guys I have dated, but New Years Eve will mark my 40th birthday. I had actually given it no thought, THAT IS UNTIL friends of mine started doing a countdown of sorts. Age has never been an issue for me mainly because I have shaved a few years off for about the last 5 years. I THINK therefore I AM. I don't feel a day over 36, even 34 on some days. Of course when I started my divine plan of always being 4 years younger, everyone pretty much bought it but my family. I told them, IF I AM FOUR YEARS YOUNGER, all of you can be four years younger. They didn't bite. I am finding it very funny that the only friends making an issue of my upcoming birthday are those bitter hags that have already reached 40 and can't wait to jump me into their gang of hateful fogeys. I DON'T BUY IT. I know I am buying into on some level by lessening my age by 4 years on my resume' BUT that is only because the rest of the fucking planet seems to put so much emphasis on age.
Two of my favorite people in the world are over 60 years old. Mother Flawless Sabrina and Rose Royalle are two bitches that are soooooo much younger than their birth certificates. Rose will outshop, outwalk any queen in this city. Have any of you ever seen Sabrina on the dancefloor??? Weeeerrrrrk lady!! They both have never bought into the whole age thing. I had always said I never wanted to be shaking my ass in a dress after I hit 40. THAT was 10 or 15 years ago. I hope I am mincing around in kicky heels when I am 80! As long as I can still get up and go, this fat ol' heffer is gonna let them have it!! I do experience all the things that any person would when they get a little older. The pathetic part of the whole process is holding a menu at a full arms legnth to see what the hell to order!!! That sucks! This seemed to happen over night. I blame it on too many hours on the computer, NOT the fact that I saw my mother and father do the same damned thing way before anyone could fit a computer into their homes. Besides the little things tho, I feel no different.
Summer before last I attended my first class reunion. I was horrified as how badly time had treated the people I had grown up with. Heads of grey hair, time creased faces, HIDEOUS FASHION SENSE!!! Some of these people at 38 were already grandparents. That shit will age you! I have really lived quite a charmed life up until now. Foot loose and fancy free. That keeps you young. I answer to nobody but ME. I am sure if I had married young, had a house full of kids, slaved at the local factory and broke down my body and spirit HAVING to stoop and shuffle everyday to make sure the family had food and clothes, I would be a mess too. I am soooo thanksful that I have made a living being creative AND pretty. It makes it alot easier to the face the day. It makes it alot easier to face the mirror!!!
I never have treated birthdays with any great cause of celebration. When my mother was living, I always took the time that day to thank her for having me. to thank her her laying a good foundation, to thank her for giving me my life. Now that she is gone, I still have that converstion with her, but its usually in the shower or taking a walk to the store. These days she's more of a listener, but it still gives me alot of comfort. I usually work on my birthday and therefore get to celebrate the new year and not another year for me. I always have a big birthday in the clubs around the 3rd week in January. I usually treat that as way tho of getting all my friends together and breaking the after holiday "stay at home" syndrome. Since I was a kid I have always cried when people sing Happy Birthday to me. It's always a bittersweet day. Its never about the age. For me, it's rmembering people in my life who are no longer there. I also always have a little conversation with God on my birthday. I look at it as kind of signing up for another year. Making a commitment. Asking for guideance in making my next year count even more to myself, to the world. 40 for me is going to be a piece of cake. I think my 100th is going to be hard for me. How does a 100 year old get away with dressing any way but age appropriate? I am sure Sabrina or Rose will let me in on it in about 40 years.
Love
SWEETIE